by Jonathan van Geuns, January 23, 2024
From life's confines, dreams of intimate adventures arise,
Chasing fleeting milestones, validation, wedded to identity,
I feel drawn towards this trial of trails, in distance, time, in joy,
Over mountains, through deserts, cacti shielding from the sun,
Guided by orange flags, ribbons and the mercy of volunteers,
After a winter long training, four years of ardent waiting,
I sign up for a pièce de résistance, manifesting my running life,
Yet I feel ever more caught, trapped by shadowy thoughts,
Wondering endlessly in mind, realm we dwell, distant yet close,
I ask, demand, how can this act be savored, endured over time,
While inhumanity persist, we witness the oppressed,
Movement refused, a life obstructed by checkpoints and walls,
Undeniably robbed of any freedom, fleeing, displaced in terror,
Digging through rubble, obliterated carrying unimaginable pain,
Bereft of joy, refuge, isolated and alone, no finish line in sight,
And, while safely from homely shelter, in my reckoning,
I condition, prepare, travel cross borders for selfish endeavors,
Where the paradigm burdens us to silence, inertia, to move on,
Eroding our soul, attempts designed to keep us all oppressed,
I hesitate-try to resolve: where I stand, how I move, how I can,
Comprehend this all: why, the meaning of my privilege, joy,
What is it that I run for, away from, what is the act of running,
So I seek to define uninhibited this act uniquely mine or yours,
In motion graceful, playful, versatile unbound, unconstrained,
Natural, simple and minimal, never replicated in like manner,
Succumbing to the change of breath, the rhythm of footsteps,
A state of well-being and the quietness in being oneself,
Candidly present in the moment, numinous in wonder,
Vulnerable to pain and the ways to rise above it,
All that is unbearable hurting just as much as it is worth,
Surely this act channels a force of resilience, empowerment,
Equipping us with existential relief, fulfillment and inspiration,
Counter-division, exacting selflessness, solidarity, community,
This pursuit releases inertia, challenges us away from comfort,
Yes running defies defeat, defies determinism, the status quo,
Creating moments of ineffable joy and freedom, of liberation,
Exactly, in this radical act of running, I bear firmly those
In dire need, I hold on to Palestine, if ever our people,
Not because I don’t deserve this experience,
But because they deserve it too,
In this, spared of suffering, our freedoms and rights intertwine,
Here I find meaning, reminding me that we all are human,
With universal wonder and delight, and deserving of freedom,
A virtue and vital part of flourishing and coexistence,
Fueled by freedom I embrace resistance, irreversible,
Against apathy, the assertion of life and humanity in a world
Indifferent to both, to heal our heart, return our breath,
Restore our peace and revive our spirit, to uphold,
To give my all to this right, this act, as part of my freedom
and our liberation, a declaration to why I run:
that no one is free, until we are all free.
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